• Cheap Shots
  
• Exploitation
  
• Flexibility
  
• Hardcore
  
• Importance
  
• Lesley Gore
  
• Teeth
  
• Washing Hands
  
• Full From The Dinner
  

The author of this work is known to fly off the handle at the slightest disorganization of her make-up drawer. She has hot tea and sugar running simultaneously through her veins, both substances never entering her body at the same time. She has inappropriate obsessions with Iggy Pop, R. Kelly, Russell Jones, and any/all members of HEALTH. She plays bass with a sinister hand, can't read music, and has a hot temper. She is a prominent social butterfly who uses the information her followers pour into her hands to fuel harsh, admiring essays. She is a prude, former alcoholic and former chain-smoker who now enjoys vitamins, water, sleep, and just about everything else boring one can imagine. She is loyal and will keep secrets close, but the moment she is crossed, the candle she holds with your name is snuffed out. She then assesses your importance, makes appropriate marks in the record of your life, and files you away for further examinations.